Where You Used To Sleep
by fluxy2535
Summary: The Pevensies react to the news of Caspian's death. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**There is a part two to this, which I'll post if anyone wants me to.**

* * *

_"You're so tense about it, when we don't know for sure," Caspian sighed and pressed a kiss to the back of Peter's neck, "You shouldn't worry like this."_

_"How can I not?" Peter whimpered, tears pouring down his cheeks, "I leave you here, and I'll never see you again," he let out a sob, toying with the ring on his finger, "And I won't even be able to take your ring with me."_

_"Hey, shh..." Caspian turned Peter around and pulled him into his arms, rubbing his back in an attempt to soothe him. "We will. Don't worry. Maybe not in this existence, but in another."_

"Peter?"

Peter jolted awake, rubbing his forehead where it had been leaning against the cool glass of the window. His sister was standing in the doorway of his bedroom, looking annoyed. "What Sue?"

"Eustace wants to tell us something about Narnia," She sighed, making an odd noise in the back of her throat, "So you better come down before the little brat has a fit."

"You should be nicer to him. He's not that bad anymore..."

Susan rolled her eyes, leaving her brother's room. Ever since she had returned from America she had been getting more and more stuck up, seemingly forgetting about anything that was important except boys and gossiping with the other girls. Narnia seemed to be long forgotten, and the title of 'gentle' barely seemed to apply to her anymore.

Everyday Peter was thankful that he was allowed to keep the ring Caspian had given him when he had come back to this world. It was nothing special, really, just a simple silver band with a thin line of gold around it, but sometimes he felt like it was the only thing that kept him tethered to the world her really belonged in.

"Peter!"

"Coming!" Peter sighed, moving from the window seat, wandering downstairs. They had congregated in the living room, Lucy and Susan sitting on the couch while Eustace paced in front of them, shifting his hands from his hair to his pockets nervously.

"Just spit it out, Eustace. It's not that big of a deal." Edmund murmured as he plopped himself into a chair to the left of Lucy, seemingly disinterested. Eustace always felt odd speaking of Narnia in front of his cousins. They had lived there for 15 years, after all, and anything he had wanted to tell them felt almost meaningless.

This, however, was not.

"I don't know how to say this," Eustace sighed, running his fingers through his hair again. He sat down in a chair, glancing at all of them, "Oh bother. Caspian, he..."

"What?" Peter's eyes where wide, "What happened to Caspian?"

"He's," he sighed, "He's gone Peter. He was almost 70. And..." Eustace trailed off, tears suddenly on his cheeks.

"No." Peter whispered, his legs shaking, "You- you have to be wrong," He laughed nervously, obviously not believing even himself, "He has to be fine."

"Peter..." Edmund whispered, approaching where Peter was standing, "Pete, he's dead."

Peter glanced at each of his relatives, from Lucy and Eustace's tear-stained cheeks to Edmund's worried face to the confused look Susan was shooting him.

_Caspian's dead._

"Oh God."

Edmund shot out to catch him as Peter's knees buckled under him. He lowered Peter to the floor, holding him tightly to his chest as his older brother began to sob. Both Lucy and Eustace moved from their chairs, joining Edmund on the floor to comfort Peter, while Susan stood back, confused.

"What's the big deal?"

Peter pulled his head from his brother's shoulder, glaring at his sister, "Caspian is dead and you're asking what's wrong?" Peter brushed some of the tears from his eyes, "Are you serious?"

Susan frowned. She still remembered Narnia, but the longer time went on, the more her memory fogged and the things she thought changed. "Why is it a big deal?" She laughed, "it's not as if you were dating him."

"He was my lover," Peter whimpered, obviously hurt by her tone.

"Your _what?_"

"It's not important, Susan," Lucy said softly, moving to stand in front of her sister. She was trying to keep Susan from saying something wrong. Knowing her recent behavior she would say something without thinking about how much it would hurt Peter, and that was the last thing her brother needed at the current moment.

"How can you even think that?" she screeched, making everyone in the room wince, "Our brother was engaging in... _that_ with another man and you're acting as if it's not a big deal when it's completely immoral!"

"Honestly Sue," Eustace hissed through his teeth, "This isn't the time."

"Oh shut up, Eustace. Just because your parents are freaks that would allow this and view it as normal-"

"Oh shut up yourself," Edmund snapped, "You are the last person that should be talking about morals. Or are you forgetting when you were caught with that boy last semester with your-"

"That isn't the point!"

"Well, what is?" Edmund sneered, "That your doing the same thing with someone you don't care about is worse than our brother doing it with someone he loves?"

"It's a sin, Edmund, love or not," Susan spat, scowl covering her face, "I don't know about you, but he's going to burn in hell like the rest of them and I for one don't want to be associated with that."

It's then that Lucy did something no one would ever dream of.

She pulled her hand back, and slapped Susan across the cheek with as much force as her little body could muster.

"Don't you _dare,_" She hissed, furious, "Don't you dare say that about Peter or Caspian. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him, bother what the laws or the church has to say." She turned from Susan before kneeling to Peter's side, helping her brother and cousin comfort him.

Susan seemed to snap out of her shock when Lucy turned from her, "Lu, come on-"

"I think it might be best," Eustace injected, "that you leave. If only for a little while."

Susan stood for a few more moments before scoffing and storming out of the room.

"It's not even like they have heaven," Peter whispered, seemingly unfazed by what had just happened, "It's a completely different world. There's no hope I'll ever see him again even after I'm gone."

"Don't say that," Lucy cooed, brushing some of the hair from his forehead. Her heart ached for her brother. He had loved Caspian so fiercely. Their year spent apart had been one of the hardest in his life, only managing to function enough to get through school. Everything else became so unimportant to him.

"I shouldn't just be sitting around," Peter insisted, wiping away the tears on his cheeks, "I have an essay due for my history class that I should start."

"Peter, it's fine if-"

Peter shook his head, "No, I should start it. I need to."

Lucy opened her mouth the object, but Peter was already gone. She knew he was dealing with a lot right now, and didn't know how to handle it. Finally she sighed, looking at her remaining family and asking the question she knew they're both thinking.

"What do we do now?"


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Peter's aware of when he awakens is two voices. One is deep, and calming, whilst the other one is slightly higher, accented, and frantic. They're both so familiar, but he can't seem to place why. His brain is more consumed with trying to figure out where he is without opening his eyes.

Finally the voices halt, and someone pads out of the room. Peter's happy they stopped; the babble was terrible on his headache.

"Peter..."

Peter's eyelids feel like lead. He's sore all over, like he had been hit by a car or...

_or a train._

Everything floods back to him in that instant. The screams, the pain, the blood.

"Peter, please... I know you're fine, but..."

"Caspian?"

Caspian lets out a sound that's somewhere in between a sob and a laugh. "Yes love," he whispers, cupping Peter's jaw in his hands, "I'm here. You're safe. Just please, open your eyes."

Peter takes as deep of a breath as he can, letting it out slowly as he opens his eyes to slits, "Hi."

Caspian laughs, tears taking over the corners of his eyes, and leans down to kiss Peter's forehead. "Hello. Are you okay?"

Peter tries to nod, but his neck is too stiff for it not to be painful. His whole body is still throbbing, even though he could open his eyes and move his face. "When is this supposed to stop?"

"Aslan says within the hour. Mine never hurt like that, but I died from old age."

"And Lucy and Edmund? Eustace? And Professor Kirke and Aunt Polly, for that matter..."

"They're fine Peter. Lucy is awake and with Trumpkin and Tumnus now. You're the second one up, but the other should be rousing anytime now."

Peter nods, his joints already starting to loosen. "Are they hurt badly?"

Caspian shrugs, "Nothing is wrong with them now; They're dead, so their bodies are whole and unmarred by anything. From what Aslan says Edmund got the brunt of it, though his death was almost immediate."

Peter sighs, relieved, before closing his eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

Peter yawns, his eyelids fluttering, "Falling asleep again."

Caspian laughs before leaning down to peck Peter's lips, "Love, we're dead. We have forever. It hardly grants an apology."

Peter knows it's strange, but the conformation that he's really dead comforts him. Nothing can take Caspian away from him now. He's where he belongs.

For the first time in a long time, he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

There are festivities later on that night, when they're are all healed up. Peter's reminded of the old Narnian solstice feast, and wonders if that's what these are based off of, since everything else has bases in the living world. The fauns and Dryads do their traditional dances and the Dwarves roll out their best ale, and soon enough bonfires are lit and everyone is singing and dancing. Mr. Tumnus even stands up and plays a song for them, and Peter isn't surprised to see him dab at his eyes with the same handkerchief Lucy gave him thousands of years ago when he explains that it was the very same song that He had played for her on the very first day they met.

Through out the entire night Aslan sits by himself, far back from the crowd. He keeps glancing to the west, looking more and more melancholy as the night goes on. Finally, after awhile, Peter can't take it anymore. He stands from the spot on the grass he was occupying to go talk to him.

"This is the end of Narnia," the lion sighs once Peter is close enough to hear, "The Calormen have invaded and taken Cair Paravel... It is how my father has written it. All will be over within a day."

Peter bites his lip, running his finger's through Aslan's mane, "I know it's what has to pass, but I can't help but feel sad."

The lion chuckles, smiling at Peter, "You shouldn't be. You have the things that matter here. Your cousin and Jill shall be here tomorrow night. And you will meet them in the end, and lead them to this place..."

Peter glances across the fire, seeing Caspian's eyes glowing in the light, and he can't help but wonder if Aslan knows what really matters.

* * *

It's all but two seconds from the time the door closes to the time Caspian has him pressed down into the mattress. He smells of wood smoke and tastes like beer and they're both a little bit drunk but that's besides the point. It's been too long, and the ache in his chest to be with him like this again is so great it almost brings tears to Peter's eyes.

Clothing is shed faster than Peter thinks possible. He needs to feel Caspian, needs urgent hands and sweat slicked skin and that sting in his bottom that he knows he'll have for the next two days. He needs to know that he won't wake up in a hospital room someplace in London to find that this is just some crazy coma induced dream. He knows it's possible, that the soft mewling noise Caspian makes as they rock together and the way his eyes get even darker than normal is just his mind replaying things he remembers. But in the end, when they're both curled up on his (their?) bed, Peter's legs wrapped around Caspian's hips, that he realizes that this is it. This is the rest of forever.

"You shouldn't be sleeping like this," Caspian murmurs, his finger tips dancing up and down Peter's bare back, "You'll be sore tomorrow."

Peter shakes his head, nuzzling his nose against Caspian's collarbone, "We're dead, love. It won't hurt. I've waited far too long to have you back where you belong."

Caspian's hands stop, gripping his lower back instead to push them closer. "I should have never let you go," He whispers sadly, "I don't know how you have forgiven me for it."

"Hey," Peter tilts Caspian's chin down so he could see his eyes, "It was Aslan's will. He knew you needed an heir, and as long as I was around that wouldn't be possible. It hurt, yes, but I don't blame anyone, especially you, for it."

"But their were other ways..."

Peter chuckles, kissing Caspian's forehead, "Do you think the Telmarines would've let us? Because I know they wouldn't have. It may be lawful, but as a king with royal obligations to give an heir, it wouldn't have been allowed. I would've been forced into being the male equivalent of your mistress; someone for dark corners and locked bedrooms. And no offense, but that would not have been how I would have you."

"Or I you," Caspian sighs, pressing a kiss to the bridge of Peter's nose, "I guess the hurt was inevitable. It still didn't make it hurt less."

"Oh, you should have seen me when I found out you were dead," Peter laughs, resting his head on Caspian's shoulder, "I was an absolute wreck. I don't know which was worse; Having you dead and being unsure if I would be allowed to be with you after I died or having you alive and knowing for certain I would never see you again."

"You don't have to worry about that now, though," a smile stretched over Caspian's lips as he took Peter's face in his hands, "I love you, and am never letting you go. You are home now."

"Yeah," Peter smiles, leaning in for a kiss, "I guess I am."


End file.
